THE ARA OF PAMPAS
Novel (Second Volume of the HERITAGE Trilogy by ALMA WELT)
I have been trying hard to manage the vineyard work so that our wine production will not cease, but I confess that neither Rôdo nor I are good landowners or administrators. Vati himself was not, and this is what happened. We need to find a good administrator who understands the plantation and wine production. But where can we find one, and how can we trust a stranger? I have been talking about this with Rôdo, who is also lost on this subject. He says he will find one if he wanders around Alegrete or Santana do Livramento, or even goes to Porto Alegre and spends some time there. But I am wary of Rôdo's seasons, because of his attraction to gambling, although in his case it is not a vice, and he is not the type to get into debt, nor has he ever bothered his family with it. In fact, my brother seems to be in his element in a casino, and at a poker table he looks like a young gangster from a movie, and I can't help but admire him, having seen him in action. But the truth is that although Rôdo is brave and a born bluffer, this activity and this environment are always somewhat dangerous, and I fear at least the envy that my brother's luck and aplomb causes in other men, as well as the attraction of a certain type of dangerous women, who are like those remoras that stick to the bellies of tireless sharks, pilgrims of their own predation. The truth is that none of the four of us inherited our grandfather's vocation for agriculture, and we are still standing only because of the "extensive possibilities", as Spengler said in his "Decline of the West". Could it be that our own decline, and that of our place, is fatal and has already begun? Oh no! There will always be a solution to transform all this into an attractive farm hotel, although the problem of good management remains. I even think that my nature as an artist, and Rôdo's, as a gambler (although he has a lot of artist in him too) are already symptoms of this decadence, because we artists really do have the vertigo of dissipation, even due to the greater awareness we have of the transience of life, and its intrinsic tragedy, which makes us trust in dreams and in the creation of purely spiritual or imaginary worlds, which we materialize on canvas and paper, in the eyes of the world.
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I wait for my Aline, trying hard not to transform my longing and need into a new substitute passion. Oh! Aline, come back, come back soon, or I don't know what will become of me, or of Laís and Rôdo. But could it be that you, there in São Paulo, aren't cheating on me with your ex, that brute? Oh! If you knew that he was the one who left me in the state you witnessed... That man could hurt you too! Oh! I can't think about it, my heart is aching with anguish!
I run to the phone and call Aline in São Paulo. I was lucky to find her at her mother's house, on the phone she left me. But this lady, a somewhat rough Italian woman, who answered first, was somewhat harsh and rude to me:
— Hello, yes, this is Aline's mother, I know who you are, and look, frankly I think it's best that you stay away from my daughter. She should live here, with me. Why did you "drag her" so far away from me, her mother? Besides, why did she fight with her boyfriend? Are you responsible for that? She needs to get married, have children, give me grandchildren, I don't think your relationship is good, or you two are inseparable... ( Wait, no, Aline, let me talk to her, she needs to...)
—Hello Alma, it's me, no, no, forget what my mother said. I'm sorry for putting you through this. I didn't want her to answer. Alma, I love you! (That's right, mom, I love Alma, and I'm married to her! Let go, let go, mom...) Alma, I'm sorry, my mother is crazy, and... oh!
There was a huge commotion, shouting and arguing on the other side, and I remained stunned, with the phone in my ear until the line went dead. Then I burst into tears, soon comforted by Laís, who opened the door to my room when she heard me crying, came in and hugged me. I clung to her, sobbing, while she, also with tears in her eyes, made me lie down on the bed where I was sitting, on the phone, and covered me with her entire body and began kissing me, first on my eyes and wet cheeks, and then on my mouth, passionate and warm, while she said softly:
—Alma, my dear, what is it, don't cry, don't cry... I'm going to comfort you, until Aline comes. Come my love, give me your lips, beautiful woman, I can love you, like this, like this...
Laís's immense, surprising tenderness, which I had discovered, really comforted me, at that moment, and I let her kiss me all over and undress me for her, who possessed me with increasing ardor, with her lips and fingers, revealing the growth of a passion, which I should fear, as a complicating element, when Aline came back. If she came back.
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